Spider and Destroy

The Land Crawler eXtreme, made for his son by the Japanese roboticist Vagabond Works, the Land Crawler eXtreme has six pairs of nightmarishly scurrying legs that can support a 175 pound passenger.

Yeah, but let’s see a fuckin’ kickflip. KOOOOOOOOOOICCKKKKK!

Pruane hates cocky douche-bags

He just wants to make it clear that he doesn’t hate all of us. Only the 1/3 of us who are “cocky douche-bags”.

So he DEFINITELY hates me. It’s all good though ‘cuz this kid is hella special needs.

I think I should offer a prize if anyone can prove they sat through all 8 minutes of this sniffling-dribble. This kid needs to pull the Hot Wheels out of his ass, get off his computer and start training for his inevitable job of “assistant electronics manager” at his local WalMart.

UPDATE: I just realized who this kid reminds me of. He is a young Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. WORST POST EVERRRR.

We hate skaters

Look at these two wonderful mental defectives. The fugly bitch is manipulating young William Dafoe into talking shit about a group of people that are so far superior to them in every way, it’s almost not even fair.

“They wear their hats to the side, like they are black, even though they are not” “True dat, true dat”

This video is harder to watch than “Cannibal Holocaust” on acid. I am seriously waiting for that kid’s hand-sewn skin-mask to just fall off his face. How many times a day do you think he looks at himself in the mirror, dick tucked between his legs while constantly repeating “it puts the lotion on it’s skin”.

Good luck in life you two. I’m sure your incestual children couldn’t look worse or be more ignorant than their parents. Don’t listen to the mainstream media when they say your love is forbidden. Just go for it.

Oh, I want to start a serious comment thread on this one:

WHAT DO YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE DO FOR FUN!?

(comment with your guesses)

Skateboard for the Lord

“It doesn’t matter how good you are, it’s what your attitude is. You skateboard for him, not to show off in front of your friends.”

“So I skateboard for the Lord!?”

“YOU DO EVERYTHING FOR THE LORD! You mow the lawn for the Lord, wash dishes for the Lord…”

Just another day in my life.

Christ is Lord.

666.

Brian Wenning is HELLA Selfish

Poo Screen sent this to me today. I guess Kelly Hart sent it to him.

Pretty legit.

Pretty damn legit.

Isn’t it crazy how this intro was a total joke. Then it ended up being the most prophetic thing EVER!

Jusssssss Sayinnnnnn’

Ultimate Skateboard Backflip

All of these random hate comments on the site are coming from the two dude’s in this video. It all started with that kook I subtitled in the video. Trying to call me out for “ganging up” on Owen Wilson’s stunt-double. As you can see in the video, I was just asking him to please do a backflip. He obviously craves attention, so why wouldn’t he!? Who knows.

He did though! And peep the epic UFC-flex after he lands on it and falls off.

Fuck man, Skateboarding is easy. We should all quit. By “we” I definitely mean the biker / flipper and the dude who threatened to get my blog shut down for posting a link to his facebook.

Fucking dorks. Now you really got something to comment on. Sphincter says fuck you?

Internet Commenters

This is for all the anonymous shit-talkers on the web.

You got some shit to talk? Something to say? Man up “sk8r420ftw” (fake name used for illustrative purposes)

If you have something worth saying, it should go without saying; Stand by your word.

Posting anonymous hate is so 2000&late.

Secrets of skateboarding!

Is it taking you days? weeks? even months!? to learn how to skateboard?

That is way too fucking long if you ask me.

Luckily there is a solution!

Here is a link to the page that is going to change your life.

It’s not like skateboarding can lead you to life-long friends, invaluable life experience or a sense of self. So just skip all the bullshit of “Learning skateboarding” and just go straight to jumping off your roof!

I highly recommend this product for anyone who would ever consider using it.

Bam Margera DOING PORN NOW!?

I scoured over the major skate sites the second I caught wind of this one… Seems like The Corner is your source for breaking new’s on the TV-stars-who-never-skate-but-still-have-pro-boards-on-ELEMENT-turned-Porn-Star tip. Seem’s like every mall-grabber’s favorite skater of 2006 has decided to stop nosesliding FDR and start lipsliding (polejamming, tailsliding) Gina Lynn.

According to the box “packed with Bam and his crew playing paintball and skate boarding in action packed sex scenes. Gina Lynn shows her tennis skills while Eva Ellington drives the golf ball to explosion. Novak gets a BJ while getting shot by paintballs and lots of other crazy shit goes on! A MUST SEE, CAUSE WITH THESE CRAZY FUCKS ANYTHING”

Wow. Good job Bam. Camp Kill Yourself just got a little more literal.

Whatever happened to that pug that he got married to on his show?

Someone get me a copy of this video so that I can do a proper review on it!

Super Wack

I don’t have Photoshop yet on my new computer so I couldn’t put my “Super-Wack” logo on this… but fuck man. I have always kinda liked Richie Jackson’s skating. Read the first sentence of this bitches article and find her e-mail address online and write her a shit-load of hate mail. Calling all skater’s dirty, gross, unstylish… as far as I’m fucking concerned half of the inspiration for fashion starts with skateboarding like 2 years ahead of anything else. Take flannels for example… I know we didn’t invent them, nor were we the first to wear them… but look back over the last two years in skateboarding magazines. The majority of dudes are wearing a basic chino pant and a flannel shirt. Now pick up any designers catalog for fall 2010. Compare. Then tell fashion to fuck off. We did it first. We will always do it first. Bite it, then talk shit on it!?

This is by no means an attack on Richie Jackson. But fuck GQ. Most thinly-vieled gay porn mag ever.

I’m going to find that chick’s e-mail address so we can all collectively tell her to suck it.

“Huge, shapeless and ugly”

I guarantee that is how every man that has drunkenly decided to sleep with the woman who wrote this article described her to his friends.